Inspiration.

Inspiration is something I've needed for such a long time now, so I thought I'd dedicate my first post to this.  I grew up all over the place, but in the last 4 years my depression has literally sunk to an all-time low.  I've never felt so limited in my life.  I've gained weight, and sat at home doing nothing.  My whole life I'd been the class clown, and never took anything seriously.  I used to be an outcast, someone who sat by themselves at lunch, and got teased for eating and being fat.  I was always aggressive, and always took matters too far out of hand.  When I was small, I had a very hard time maintaining friendships, and to this day, I'm very limited on the people that I can trust.  I don't want to to be 25 and living in my Mother's basement.  I want to be singing for millions, or acting on film, posting photography for people to see, going to the Peace Core.  But being at home, doing nothing, gave me no inspiration to aspire those goals.  I'm not somebody to rely on when it comes to advice, or school work.  I'm someone who you can rely on to be supportive.  I've tried everything to break my depression. I've gotten so stressed, I pulled out my hair, and cut myself.  But I stand here today, making this post, for people who struggle with Depression and Anxiety.
I was abused, molested, and neglected by my real father at a very young age.  When I was 16, I met my real father.  Worst mistake of my life.  Let's just say he's a good father, but it didn't feel right while he sat there with 6 other children and a perfect family.  All he did was brag about his eldest daughter.  I was jealous, and hurt.  He had no stories, but ones that included the "ignorance" of my Mother.  I found him insulting.

What I'm trying to say is, life doesn't always give you exactly what you need at the moment you want it.  You have to work hard, strive, and try hard to succeed.  It's not so easy when you have to do all of these things, but when you focus on your outcome, you'll be so proud of yourself, and thankful for the ones that supported you.  I've written all over my furniture, of random quotes and inspirational sayings to help boost my confidence.
When I wake up every morning, I do the same routine.  Wake up, shower, brush teeth, do hair, makeup, clothes, sit at computer/tv the rest of the day.
Although I'm not the most interesting person, I'm someone who you can relate to.

I love my Family, my few Friends, and my Life in general.  I'm making this Blog of my Weekly encounters, and sharing this with the world because I want to help others be inspired to do the same thing.  (: