This is going to be something a little bit different than my usual posts. I'm offended.
When I left school in 10th Grade due to bullying, I had few friends that were there for me, and the rest thought I was a class clown, and someone who loved to fight. I hate confrontation, I hate drama. My head gets light and I start to shiver. And when I get into a fight, I cry after. Not because of defeat, or being hurt, but because I fear of getting in trouble.
But, when I left school, it was like I was forgotten. Nobody remembered me, and nobody really cared. Some said I even committed suicide, or that I ran away. Which is not true.
I've been in a few fights, that got me pretty noticed. Not in a good way, though. People only liked me because they knew if they were on my good side, that I wouldn't hit them. If they were my friend, they could have me back them up all the time. Which happened a LOT. People or "friends" would walk up to me and tell me to beat up someone just because they were too wuss to do it themselves. Which hurt. I'm someone who deserves friends, but the bullying me out of school, I couldn't even get up in the mornings because I feared of getting in trouble. I feared the teacher who hated me most, and I feared the people who name-called me and harassed me, because they knew I was vulnerable to any attack.
Now that I'm not in School, and doing College courses, people forgot who I was. I've hung out with 3 people since I left school. Carissa/Candice, Victoria, and Zeth. They were the only people who gave me the time of day. The only people who remembered me. I went to a carnival the 4th of July weekend, and I saw all my old "friends" that didn't even stop to say Hello to me. They looked at me and kept walking. I literally cried myself to sleep. I ran into ONE person, who was my closest friend, and she blew me off completely. Which really, really hurt. I'm sick and tired of not being looked at twice.
I could sit here and say, "My mother died" (Knock on wood), and nobody would ever care to reply to me on Facebook. I had surgery, and only one person wished me luck.
I am in pain, I cry, I hurt, and I probably complain more than I should, but that doesn't make it right for people to completely ignore my feelings. Someone could say, "I'm bored" and 50 people would reply, including me, but when I say I'm having SURGERY, I get only one person saying good luck. Which I appreciated greatly. It's horrifying, being ignored. You "cool" people who think you're too good for me can really just unfriend me. Stop being my friend to my face, and when I turn around you don't speak a word to me. It's sick and wrong...
I'm hurt, if you couldn't tell.
